I have finally commissioned your headstone my sweetheart. It just took me a very long time to settle on what to put on it & in fact to consider putting your name onto the permanence of granite. I am glad it will be done as your little wooden cross, which somehow seemed so much more fitting bot in materials & lack of permanence, has finally given up it's upright stance. But I still find it so hard to accept that I even need to get you a headstone - you should be alive & vital beside me. But when it's done I'll go & move the bulbs & plants & replant them around it. I just miss you so much Jonathan, such little words which carry such weight. You are forever in my heart and mind & I love you xxxx

3 years now my sweetheart, my darling Jonathan. I don't know where the time goes. I watch videos if you and hear your voice and it seems like you are maybe just in the next room, or just up at Hampton Court at work, and I'm still waiting for you to come home. It seems so very impossible that my strong, vivacious, full of life and precence husband is gone from this world. I don't think I will ever accept it, ever believe it. I miss you so very much Jonathan, my best friend, my dear love, my soulmate. One day we will be together again and I love you for eternity xxxxx

2 years have passed already my darling. How did that happen. I miss you so very much. Such little words, but with the weight of the world without you behind them. I will never stop thinking that one day you will just walk in the door as if nothing ever happened. I carry your heart in mine forever. I love you forever. One day we will be together again xxxx